Tamil actor Vijay to use time machine to remake unreleased movies

Chennai. Kollywood actor Joseph Vijay Chandrasekhar, who is known to remake hit movies of other languages, especially Telugu, in Tamil, has decided to allocate a substantial part of his earnings to sponsor research program at IIT Madras to build a time machine. Vijay hopes to go to the future, watch all hit movies that are not yet released, come back to the present time, and remake them.

“I’m sick of people accusing me of making remakes,” Vijay said at a press conference, “I know H G Wells had the original one, and no, this would not be a remake. This is original research by IIT students for God’s sake!”

Vijay gestures after announcing his time machine plan

Vijay further denied that movies thus made would still be remakes.

“No one would know the original source; that’s called creativity,” Vijay argued.

The South Indian actor has a huge dedicated fan base in Tamil Nadu, but is often accused of being “unoriginal”. When Chennai Super Kings won the third season of the Indian Premier League, people attributed the success to Vijay, who is the brand ambassador of CSK: “CSK followed Vijay’s footsteps. They ‘remade’ a Telugu team’s (Deccan Chargers) performance of IPL2, and bingo!”

A couple of weeks back, a group of students who were caught copying during their exams had claimed that they were Vijay’s fans and wanted to follow his footsteps.

Irked by all this, Vijay decided to shed the tag of a “copycat” and get a time machine.

Experts believe that Vijay’s decision to get a time machine could also have been helped by the fact that Telugu actor Mahesh Babu was not doing any films recently.

“A time machine would considerably lessen his dependence on hit Telugu movies,” said an expert, “In fact, if he wants he can make original Telugu hits! Say, now he can know whether a Telengana state would actually be formed or not and can make a big hit on that subject.”

“And of course, he can remake Rajinikanth movies too. I’m sure thalaivar would still be producing superhits ten years down the line,” the expert pointed out.

Vijay is reported to be upbeat after his latest release Kaavalan, incidentally a remake again, proved to be a commercial success, ending his strings of flops.

“I took my girlfriend to see Kaavalan,” Karthik, a movie goer said, “I thought we’d get a lot of privacy as no one else will be there. But wow, things were different this time.”

Buoyed by this hit, Vijay not only decided to sponsor a time machine research, but also announced his political ambitions, “I am planning to start a political party once I’m 40.”

But it seems his old image is not yet leaving him. Political pundits have already declared his political ambitions as being a “remake” of Chiranjeevi’s Praja Rajyam.

“He should call his party RMK – Remake Munnettra Kazhagam,” said a critic.

(submitted by ‘KJ’)